Having things.

July 2024

I want lots of things.
Actually, I want all the things. Everything.

I don’t smoke or drink or party or enjoy fine-dining or expensive services like mani-pedis, massages, hair treatments or buy branded goods. So with that extra money, I put it towards buying anything that seems remotely interesting or that triggers my excitement by even the slightest bit and I want all the colours and scents and shapes and sizes that it comes in.

Oh, and I want it for those I love too. I spent an obscene amount of money on bridal party gifts for my friends last year that was utterly unnecessary, but my thinking was rooted in love and also the excitement of buying all of the shapes and sizes and colours and passing on that excitement to my friends.

It’s a problem.

I only realised it when I visited Singapore for a few days last month and was immediately overwhelmed by the amount of stuff in my old bedroom. It took me a good 3 days to find some semblance of calm after realising that I was basically crazy owned way too many things.

Granted, you may say that my entire life was in one bedroom (I loved my bedroom). I had all my teas, my crystals (a story for another day), my 47 different single eyeshadows (when I have all but 2 eyes), the backups of my skincare, my 83 different (and colourful!!) leggings, my 23 different rings, my 2 very full earring stands, the backups of my skincare backups (just in case the world ends), my books that nobody is allowed to get rid of - and my very being.

It took me leaving for 7 months to realise that I had hoarder tendencies. It physically repulsed me. I spent a week getting rid of 2 bags of things that were un-donateable and generating 4 bags of items to actually be donated.

I had been living in so much excess. 6 massive trash bags worth of excess.

Throughout the visit back home, I was possessed with a sense of disappointment in myself. How had I allowed myself to live like this? Who even needs 83 leggings, even if they’re different colours and prints? I don’t even like wearing yellow!

It took a massive purge of my old bedroom to realise how little I actually need or want.

For example, I will always need want 1-2 leopard print items in my closet. It is basically a part of my DNA to be associated with leopard print.

I only need 2 lipsticks; 1 everyday shade and 1 va-va-voom shade (although if we’re being honest, I tend to use that va-va-voom shade in the privacy of my home after particularly gruelling days just to inject a bit of fun in my life. There’s something transformative about a va-va-voom lipstick when you look like an oily, tangly mess. Or maybe it’s just I’m wearing lipstick and every other part of me basically screams homeless.)

I do not need 8 lip liners and definitely not this one that made me look like a blueberry-eating alien (this is my punishment for listening to the teenybopper-wannabes telling me that eVeRy giRL nEeDs tHiS. Learn from my mistakes).

Thinking of these rules and lines for myself made me come across the trend of underconsumption core online (my phone is definitely spying on me). I felt like I’d found my people. The more videos I watched and articles I read about this, the greater my sense of shame. It soon turned into anger, as I thought about the hundreds or even thousands of dollars I’d essentially wasted over the years just to satisfy some type of curiosity.

I felt exhausted thinking of the number of hours I’d spent as a professional researcher, researching the masses of products I’d ended up purchases. There were times I’d sleep only at 4am, after making sure that I was buying the absolutely right products for my face or my hair or my life because (and here’s the irony) I didn’t want to waste my money.

I didn’t want to waste my money so I did intense research on them… and still ended up wasting so much money.

Underconsumption is, quite simply, buying and using only what you need. That’s it. It’s what the wisest people in the world have been doing for centuries.

Lots of people are saying that underconsumption is basically just living like a normal person. The problem lies in the fact that so many of us were living a new normal that was overconsumption.

So it makes sense that the notion of underconsumption hit me like a huge wave of consciousness. Probably because I, like so many other people, have been so influenced by the content and information all around us. Despite knowing better, because I work in advertising, I put in no effort into switching off the incessant barrage of sales news hitting me daily.

Top 10 Must Buys This Year.
Hottest Prime Day Sales.
Here Are The 3 Items Experts Say Will Boost Your Joy. (I made this up)

I’m happy to report that this newfound consciousness is now part of my daily routine.

My brother gave me a tip that’s changed my life; to hang every one of my clothes on hangers. After doing that, I’m able to see that I don’t need anything else (as long as I have my leopard prints, which I do!).

I made a list of the skincare I actually need and enjoy using and did the same with makeup.

And the same with shoes and accessories.

But the one place I will not impose such rules is our kitchen and pantry. Everyone’s allowed a weak spot.

Doing all of that has actually lightened my mind because I’m no longer feeling a sense of lack. I know that I have everything I need and possess many things I want.

I had my birthday in the middle of the month and it made me realise that I actually don’t need or want any gifts. I was sent flowers and a potted plant by my family and in-laws, which I think was the perfect gift because a) I love flowers and b) the perfect home decor is a living plant. I was sent a self-care package with tea bags and bath salts by a friend. A few weeks ago, another friend sent me a package of various snacks. I think these are perfect gifts for anyone who’s trying to be an underconsumer (which should be all of us, really). Gifts should either be something you know the person wants or needs or a gift card or a voucher for an experience. Anything to reduce the clutter in our homes.

I’ve unfollowed numerous influencers and brands on Instagram so I don’t keep seeing new things to buy every damn day.

I’ve started consuming more content around minimal living (not minimalism; the maximalist in me will never die), particularly high quality/luxury minimal living because it’s still possible to buy quality but buy minimally.

I’ve been thinking about the fact that while colours excite me, I tend to gravitate towards the same 4-5 colours.

Instead of being pushed to action by excitement, I’m realising the importance of being pushed to action by joy. A subtle but important difference. Excitement is quick but fleeting, and joy takes a while to emerge yet lingers on.

And I’ve started to get excited by the fact that I know exactly what I have and what I don’t have to research. Imagine, the free time and energy from not having to think about what to buy.

It helps that moving into a one-bedroom apartment in London has forced me to cull my shopper tendencies. It’s been nice knowing that there’s a place for everything and nothing (except for our snacks & spices cupboards) is overflowing with items. After going through a week of intense purging, I never want to go through that again.

I just realised that I own a truckload of nail polish when I really only need 10. Oops. It’s alright, I’m learning.

But aside from that, never again.

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MONTHLY READS

• To be Arab or Muslim and an American seems to be a 21st Century nightmare. With both major presidential parties barely doing barely anything to put an end to Palestine’s torture, what are they to do? “Some liberals seem primed to scapegoat Arab Americans should Trump win in November.” And “As Amani, a 24-year-old Egyptian American from the Detroit area, puts it when picking between Biden or Trump, “Gun to my head? I would let the gun go off.””

• Our friend Shamir alerted us to what’s going on in Bangladesh. The lack of deep attention on the issue is shocking so here’s a pretty good coverage of it while keeping the plight of Bangladeshis at the forefront. Do click through the tabs at top to read about the victims and additional context.

• Sunisa Lee is my favourite gymnast of the last 3 years. Her routines, especially on vaults, are completely mesmerising. She’s overcome so much, including an incurable kidney disease, to be at the Paris Olympics now (where she’s helped her team clinch gold already!). Probably the most mentally tough gymnast right now, in my opinion.

• In 2070, Hollywood will be Bollywood. 🔥

• Listen, the world has gone mad over Stanley Cups and Owala (apparently named because you look like a Koala when you drink from it… ok). It’s an epidemic, at this point. Here’s a environmentally-conscious person’s take on what on earth is going on. (re: water bottle freaks)

• Armie Hammer may be back and turns out, he’s not a cannibal, he’s not a sexual abuser but he’s a cheater. I don’t know how to feel about this.

• I know many of us feel like life is just a big fat routine, day in and day out. Going for holidays is just a temporary solution. Here’s some help on how we can feel alive again.

• I can’t imagine my life without Spotify (although I hate how they assume I would like K-Pop or Mando-Pop just because I’m from Singapore). Would you quit Spotify?

• What’s the cost of taking photos of your life?

• I grew up loving books. I was eventually banned from buying (too many) books and so loved the library (I recommend the Libby app now). I wish more of us talked about or visited libraries because turns out, they can save your life.

LISTEN

• The true hit of Summer’24, in my humble opinion. I have been saying the hook as much as I can much to the dismay of my husband.

• Civic engagement can actually be a form of self-care and not just self-expression.

• I really like this song.

• And I listened to this one on repeat during a 1-hour workout.

• Here’s a friendly reminder to please stop treating your friends like they’re your therapist and to pay for a therapist instead.

WATCH

• Not a new show but I really do love Abbott Elementary. It’s an entire bundle of wholesome awkwardness about teachers.

• Irene Ang is a well-know Singaporean actress and businesswoman. Her story on growing up with a drug-addict mum really shows her in a different light. Her strength is truly something; she shares that due to her childhood, she’s lost the ability to cry. It’s heartbreaking. ​

• Do schools kill creativity? I’m sadly inclined to agree.

• Here’s an adorable dog that’s so delighted by seeing snow for the first time in 2 years. And if that wasn’t enough, here’s a 3-minute wordless video of the same dog enjoying hikes.

• How have none of us heard of Mary Wells Lawrence, one of the first successful women in advertising who inspired the character of Peggy Olson?!

• Lincoln Lawyer!! I don’t know what it is about the series but it’s a great binge fest. Season 3 is coming!

• 10 things every Millennial women should know: the sexist edition. And read the comments for more.

• Did you know that the UN has never officially recognised the genocide in Bangladesh? A great 8-minute TikTok on what’s going on in Bangladesh and the huge context behind it (Do what I do and watch it at 2x speed - it’s worth it).

• A random video about a random woman randomly reviewing 6 coffee shops on a few self-defined metrics, including service where the best type of service is called “kiss ‘em on the lips”. I laughed so hard a few times while watching this. Also this comment ⬇️

  

• How the colour Brat Green (yes, that Brat) was made by a creative tech company for the album. It’s a colour that’s only created digitally, how incredible.

• An extra one, since it’s the Olympics season: one of my favourite floor routines from now-retired Aly Raisman. She’s superhuman. To do that and then go on to be one of the leading faces in the case against Nassar - I love her.

SHOP (I may just want to do away with this section in the spirit of underconsumption, who knows)

• Look at this cute bag! An upgrade from the Decathlon backpack that everyone (including me) has. A gift for a loved one, perhaps?

• I’ve had a Fitbit, loved it and avoided the Apple Watch gang for a long time. But now I’ve had my Apple Watch for over a year now and I love it. If you’re someone who is motivated by goals and visualised data, get it. I love hitting my goals and closing all my rings and seeing the progress in my activity and sleep levels. (My favourite thing to do is stalking my family’s activities and sending congratulatory messages via the Watch when I see that they’ve completed a workout.)

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Have a great August full of sunshine 🌞